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Melissa Minarsich Beats Her Boyfriend for Refusing Her "A Piece of Ass"

By Pete Kotz in Stupid Criminals, bizarre
Wednesday, September 28, 2011 at 9:41 am
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28-year-old Melissa Barbara Minarsich was getting hammered at her Iowa City, Iowa home when she began to yearn for the barenaked male form. So she cooed to her boyfriend that it might be a wise time to take to bed for some carnal festivities and salacious rompery...

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"All I want is a piece of ass," she told the officers. "Is that too much to ask for?"
The boyfriend, who's also the father of Melissa's 8-month-old baby, decided he wasn't into a trip to Bonetown with his hammered sweetheart. Maybe Sons of Anarchy was on. He said no.

But Melissa is not the kind to be denied. She began punching said boyfriend and smashing stuff around the house, believing her fury would intoxicate him with untethered desire, and they would soon be partaking of fleshly pleasures.

Alas, it had the opposite effect. The boyfriend called the cops.

When police arrived, they found the house trashed and the boyfriend punched, though he wasn't really harmed. They also found that Melissa had a ready explanation for her explosion.

"All I want is a piece of ass," she told the officers. "Is that too much to ask for?"

No, most certainly it isn't, Melissa.

But since she was hammered and was already convicted of domestic assault two years ago, the cops hauled her away for another charge -- which is just like having another round, only it comes equipped with a jail cell. (Special thanks to reader Leah for the tip.)

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