Wilnelia Caraballo, Moron of the Day, Robs Store With Plastic Uzi While Hammered
Tuesday, September 27, 2011 at 8:00 am
|Moral of the story: Never go out drinking the night before a work day|
The clerks were in back when she showed up at the store, so Wilnelia walked behind the counter, hoping to score a vast bounty of Slim Jims and Salem lights. That's when an alert clerk, who was stocking the cooler, decided to yell "Palm Bay police! Get on the ground!"
In her hammered state, Wilnelia was unable to differentiate between real police and a guy filling a cooler with milk. She hit the ground.
But she must have realized that the police weren't actually on the premises, so she took off running. One of the clerks captured her and held her till the cops arrived.
She was charged with attempted armed robbery, felonious inability to hold one's liquor, and being completely unprepared for a successful convenience store takedown.
See our last story from the Moron of the Day file: Troy Fisher Kills Dad Edward, But He's Too Lazy to Destroy the Evidence.