John Edgar Birdwell: One Sweet Online-Dating Charmer

• I used to date him. My jb john birdwell. My name is Lori Thomas. He stolemy jewelry too. He took the last round of jewelry to a guy named jake cooper right before he got arrested. I met this guy at the deck. The last victims name is eyvette sparklemeyer. He preys on women. Drugs them and then robs them. He beat me up too! Broke my back window out in my car, put screws in my tires, slashed my bicycle tires. Poured water into my tvs,kicked in my door, broke my finger. He is a danger to society. He will do it again. All women beware. He needs to go bck to prison where he belongs.

• This article had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with Ethiopia or marriages, dumbass.  Why don't you take your lingerie ad to a more appropriate site...like maybe a real dating site

•  Say what now?

• What ever Thanks for reply.

• I only said what i said you said what is you said

• And this had wtf to do with the price of eggs in China?  Why do you spam a crime site with lingerie ads?

• Marriages link families in Ethiopia since the dowry paid by the family of the bride is often significant financially. According to one source, there are four ways that marriage can happen in Ethiopia:

• OMG....Gross..........................But I still LOL'ed

• Sergio (sp)(lead vocals) is kinda creepy lol

• And another... WTH?

• Damn double posts...

• I am surprised you would gasp.... I thought you were fingering yourself... Not sucking yourself.....LMAO

• :)

• :)

• LOL!!

• LOL!!!!

• LOL!!!!

• Good lord ! Gasp!

• I fingered myself for him.... I am all wet now...

• I trolled along on Craigslist with my casual encounters ad Looking for some action with a well endowed young lad I got lots of replies with the picture that I posted I picked the special guy and in my home I hosted He arrived at my house and we got down to biz he banged for 5 minutes before he blew his jizz We took a litlle nap We tried to go again He wasn't up to the task So I fingered myself for him It really wasn't good It really wasn't bad And when he left my house I was feeling sort of sad Decided to go out prowling Put on my slinky dress And that's when I found out He robbed my treasure test The moral to this story is to find a steady fuckbuddy one that doesn't steal your shit after you drain his little buddy Another thing to consider from this little one night bang is too lock up all your valuables before he bangs your thang! This has been a public service poem by Johnny Holiday and the council on promiscous safety of  the Greater Houston Area.

• The world would be a better place if people were more Handsome.... Get my drift?

• No Snow around here.... It is hot, hot, hot....

• Sweett!!!!

• no, the butthead

• lmao.... poifect

• Nothing to be ashamed of. Better than being Snowsome.

• I like, I Like... I guess I am handsome.....

• I was just joking... but OKayyy?

• Sweet Shiny had a Hiny It was too much to behold. All wrapped in tight white panties. All firm, proud and bold. It wiggled when she walked it It jiggled when she stopped That hiny looked like two balloons Just about to POP. Everyone who saw it said it was the best Even with the brown streak in the middle of the cleft!

• Sushi sounds good. Think I'll have that tomorrow.  Just ate a grilled pastrami/swiss on german rye slathered in slaw.  

• No, but I got a  joke for any single persons you would like to pick on. What do you call sex with three people.......threesome What do you call sex with two people........twosome And now you know why they call you handsome! I thought it was pretty damn funny.

• Hmm...maybe they do and we just don't know it.

• Both Actually!!!! I am a hermaphroditic gemini.........now hows that for screwed up!!! LOL

• See, I would have been too embarrassed to even call police and report it.  It would go something like this:  " I am a cheap and easy POA so I broguht this perfect stranger home - who could have been an ax murderer for all I know - for a one night [5 minute screw] stand. And yes, I was dumb enough to leave my valuables where he has access to them, practically begging him to steal them". Dumb b*tch.

• No dice aye?

• absolutely...hehehe

• they lie....they lie

• Tried to talk my boss into taking his lunch date to sushi bar... so he could bring me back a Cali roll...I'm so bad...

• I swear people tell me not long.....But I call BS cuz it seems like it's already been forever!

• I know  ...Hence the :P.....And I'm feelin ya on the hungry thing ;D

• it's ok hon.... I promise, you will get yours

• hubby and the kids already know, if we are traveling, bring a coat and a blanket, cause mom is gonna have the windows down... how long does this shit last...

• My AC is jacked up because its hot here.  I keep my thermostat on 80 during the winter and my AC kicked on this morning.  That is depressing.  I am jealous of your hotflashes.

• sorry I was being silly....hehehe  chop suey, lo mein... damn, now I'm hungry

• I mean, don't get me wrong, I do hate that they took the opportunity to trust someone, everyone wants to be able to, which we all know is so hard to do these days...but damn, googling their name doesn't strike me as the sure fire way to find out about them, especially in a situation like this.  But then to invite them to your house to bang them the second date... these days, it just isn't safe and she really is lucky it was only her jewelry they took.

• Never heard that one before :P

• After reading the poem, I am really not sure.

• I think the only thing they are thinking about is pubilicity... " I am stupid, acn you feel bad for me now?"

• You too huh?...Thank gawd I'm not alone ...My poor hubby hates going anywhere with me.

• That sure seems so doesn't it Shine.... you just want to walk up to them and smack them in the back of the head and ask... so wtf were you thinking!

• Most of these crimes could have been prevented, except for the ones that include a child with a so called adult...

• Better your head then your tits...Right? hahaaha

• Sure does !!!!!!

• I prefer Lo mein

• does the sign read in big red letters  "dumb ass"?

• omg... I would be happy to give you my hotflashes, I am sick of them....lmao, they were laughing at me today, February 1st and I have the a/c jacked all the way up...

• IDK why, but I first read that as hotflashes.  I can't wait for mine either cause they keep it so dang cold in here. LOL. 

• no silly dirl.... my drug dealer did...lmao

• Same thing happened to me when I read it. Didn't know there was such a thing as getting cyber stoned.  

• System of a Down promised you flashbacks???? LMAO *wink*

• My Son loves this band and several years ago when they first came out I really liked them too.So I went to youtube and checked this out and funny thing is I have heard this song before but it seems so different when you read it ....No music,no singer ..It really throws you off...But none the less it is a good song...If not a very strange one LOL ..Chop Suey is my favorite though.....Ok something is weird here...They have a song with your name in it that could fit you and they have a song with my name in it that def fits me...It's like they know us or something. LMAO

• Hey Johnny, Do you have any poems running around in your head today?

• I get so tired of people doing stupid things and expect everyone to feel bad for them, when it goes wrong.... Here's your sign...

• We are not really sure.... man or woman ???? LOL

• I'm still waiting on my flashbacks they promised me...

• no I didn't, it is right here on my head ::checks top of head to make sure::, where I left it, now quit talking about it, you know how self-conscience I am.

• It is annoying, especially to women, when other women do stupid crap and then whine about the consequences. I do feel bad when a person is wronged like she was but its hard to get too emotional over it when it was preventable.  

• Ahhh, finally, a man with standards and not afraid to admit it. LOL.   I am assuming you are a man.

• I heard this song just a few days ago.....I changed it a bit....but it was a bit surreal when I read the actual lyrics.

• If I don't know you, aint no way in hell I'll blow you is my motto! And the female Ted Bundy, albeit rare, is out there waiting to make history with me......I just know it....

• Either one LOL.....You all missed the point ...hehehe :D

• Morning My2!

• I swear ta Gawd I just had an LSD moment reading all that.....And I have NEVER done LSD before.....But my mind is trippin' from trying to figure that out. Guess I'll have to go look that System of a down song up on youtube ..LOL

• I totally agree :)

• LOL, I suppose its just the way of the sexual revolution of women.  And, having the internet helps us find a hook up on short notice.  I don't think its too late for you though. Just start googling and I am sure you can have a few [ahem] ladies lined up by the time you get off work.  I really don't have problem with women getting it on. I love sex myself, but I am not generally a risk taker like this lady. If I tried this I'd likely end up with a Ted Bundy. But, to each his own.

• Why is it they give up the family jewels so readily, but then complain when the metal and crystalline ones end up missing. I always was told that the vjayjay was a temple that no one was allowed in unless thoroghly scrutinized for proper fit........where were these women when I was young dumb and full of testosterone??????? I am destined to always be a day late and dollar short it seems.......;(

• Que up System of a Down epic dedicated to ME and all the other Johnnys Hello, my name is Johnny Well hello my name is Johnny I would like to explain myself And I would like to complain in vain Sweet little boyJOHNNY Sweet Little BoyJOHNNY! Let me show you the way to my (fill in your own rhyming word) Let me show you the way to my Let me help you explain your mind When I help you explain your mind 'ello my name is Johnny Well hello my name is Johnny I would like to proclaim myself A god And likely ordain myself Sweet little boyJOHNNY Sweet little boyJOHNNY Let me show you the way to my Let me show you the way to my Let me help you explain your mind When I help you explain your mind Let me show you the way to my Let me show you the way to my let me help you explain your mind When I help you explain your mind Sweet little boyJohnny Sweet little boyOh no! It's Johnny! Let me show you the way to my Let me show you the way to my Let me help you explain your mind When I help you explain your mind Let me show you the way to my Let me show you the way to my Let me help you explain your mind When I help you explain your mind

• I LOLed at that because I have read some of the BS people have called you.  Being called optomistic is like having a KODAK moment.

• No kidding. the b*tch is fortunate he didn't kill her.  She needs to chalk this up to a lesson learned and move on.

• Morning everyone!! Hope everyone is having a Happy Hump (no Sam not humping) Day!!

• she was refering to how long it took him to have one....lmao

• Sounds like some of the dipshits that troll around here. lol

• IKR? But on a good note I have never been called optimistic before so that's a plus for me ...LOL :D

• I LOL'ed at "loves to like his own posts"... How pathetic...

• "Hope that Orgasm of 20 secs is worth it." You're so optimistic... I doubt a guy like him is very concerned about the woman's "O"...

• Here's a hint....STOP being so fucking desperate and get to know someone first before you bring him/her home for a quick fuck. Or 2k worth of jewelry missing could be your luckiest date ever....You could contract AIDS or even worse be murdered........Hope that Orgasm of 20 secs is worth it.

• this guy gives the name john a bad name

• Or get a hotel room.

• lol don't think I could have said it any differently

• Googling someone's name is of no help if they don't give you their correct name. Perhaps its prudent to limit your bodily fluid exhange nights to people you have had at least 2 dates with.  Or, if you are that desperate that you don't have to even know a person, you might want to lock up your cash and jewels.  

TotalComments: 90