Terminally Ill, Alleged Wife Killer
The bastard son has a new thing for cumquat.... something about the cool name and gamey aftertaste
Crystal Marie Mosquera Planned Quite The Booze-And-Cucumber Party
Tuesday, August 28, 2012 at 8:49 am
Police say Crystal Marie Mosquera, 19, had quite the party planned -- she allegedly shoplifted "a case of Mike's Hard Lemonade, an 18-pack of Bud Light Lime, a 12-pack of Bud Light Lime-A-Rita, and a six-pack each of Twisted Tea, Smirnoff Ice, Smirnoff Ice Cherry Lime, Smirnoff Cranberry & Lime, Smirnoff Screwdriver, and Smirnoff Blueberry & Lemonade" and "a dozen packages of various daiquiri and hard-lemonade mixes" and ice cream. Oh, and one more thing: A single, large cucumber. The Houston Press has the story.
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19 comments
You're one to talk. You and Clem have been cucumber, zucchini and (on occasion) watermelon sphincter bait connoisseurs for years.
When my Uncle Jennifer made morbid female ejaculation festival movies, s/he always used a zucchini.... Springer wouldn't even have him/er on..... I'm sending you an autographed copy Pikey ... just be a bit careful okay? That's not ink s/he signed it in.
She forgot one thing to add to the party. Yeti. Just give him some drinks, a couple of tokes, that cucumber, and the entertainment begins. Woo-whee, GET DOWN, YETI!
So we're either talking a serious drinker and binge-ice cream eater, or she likes it lifelike in that eventually even the cucumber would become flaccid? ;)
I'm sorry, but that sounds like a bit of a mean party to me. I mean, if there would have been dudes there, who needs cucumber, and if it was just gals - who the fuck wants to wait for their turn with the single cucumber?? Or maybe she was counting on the booze to knock most of them out or the ice cream to make them too lethargic to move?
