Author Brittanie Shey

Evander Holyfield and Vincent Van Gogh can welcome a new member to the club of notable earless men: 53-year-old Steve Bolin, of DeLand, Florida. Bolin’s girlfriend, 32-year-old Sarah Wulchak, allegedly snacked on the top half of one of his ears during a fight earlier this week. Bolin waited almost a full day before reporting the crime, telling cops he finally called them because he “couldn’t stand to look at his ear.” Miami New Times has the story

A Florida woman went on an all-time epic rampage last month, police say, after finding her husband — who is a full decade younger than her — in bed with another woman, who in turn was a full decade younger than him. Brenda Schumann, a 51-year-old from Vero Beach, reacted by grabbing a rifle and assaulting the pair; when the gun was wrestled away from her, she peed on a living room carpet, defecated in the kitchen, then found another gun in the basement and continued her rampage. When police came, she reportedly said “I found him in bed with a naked chick what was I suppose to do?” Miami New Times has the story

When police in Oldsmar, Florida responded to a 9-11 call about a missing toddler, it didn’t take long for them to figure out the kid was nowhere to be found in the house. After all, relatives of the 16-month-old had left a note saying they’d taken the child because the couple who lived there, Jeffrey O’Neill and Jennifer Kovacs, were drunk and wouldn’t wake up. But the cops did find something else in the house: hundreds of diseased and ill-cared for animals — including pythons, monitor lizards, spiders and hedgehogs — apparently being illegally bred for sale. The pair now face charges of child endangerment and animal cruelty. Miami New Times has the story. 

Accidentally pocket dialing a friend, your mom or even worse, your boss, is terrible. Your only hope is that you’re not saying something particularly embarrassing while your phone listens in from your pants. But no pocket dialing fiasco could possibly top what happened to Ashlie Alewine and her sister, Nakilya Wright, who accidentally dialed the front desk of a hotel they had just robbed. Alewine had recently been fired from the hotel and the clerk recognized her voice and alerted police, who arrested the thieving sisters. Miami New Times has the story

What’s worse than finding your ex sleeping in bed with a new girlfriend? Flipping out and setting that bed on fire with both of them in it, that’s what. That’s exactly what 29-year-old Nicole Dobol did in the Florida Keys, according to the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office. She allegedly told her ex-boyfriend’s roommate after setting the fire that seeing him with a new woman had “made her crazy.” Miami New Times has the story

Austin Lee Bowlin picked a terrible week to brag on Twitter about how easy it would be for him to storm his high school and kill his classmates. In fact, Bowlin even bragged that he could “care less” about the kids who died at Sandy Hook while promising to “shoot up” his school on Friday. Police were alerted about the Tweets and Bowlin is now in custody and facing likely expulsion from school. Miami New Times has the story

Randall White was angry when his Little Ceasar’s pizza took longer than 10 minutes to prepare, and started complaining loudly to the shop’s staff. Another customer, 51-year-old Michael Jock, didn’t take kindly to the whining and confronted White. The two got into a shoving match until Jock pulled out a concealed weapon (which he has a legal permit for) and shot White twice in the stomach. When police arrived, he claimed he was justified in shooting the man under Florida’s “Stand Your Ground” law, the same rule at the heart of the Trayvon Martin case. Miami New Times has the story

At Miami International Airport, TSA does not have a sterling reputation. In fact, more agents have been fired at MIA than at any other airport over theft charges. Who exactly is running the show over there? Turns out it’s a former Miami city cop who left the force after getting caught trying to buy sex from an undercover cop. Miami New Times has the story. 

When a Panamanian woman arrived in Spain off a flight from Colombia with her chest heavily bandaged and bleeding, authorities were suspicious enough of her explanation — that she’d just gotten breast implants — to send her to a local hospital. Doctors there eventually removed the implants. Inside, instead of silicon they found three pounds of cocaine. Miami New Times has the story. 

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