Author Richard Connelly
Miami Beach is a shallow place. The right car can get you laid. The wrong shoes can get you kicked out of a club. Hell, even the dive bars have dress codes. But can looking poor get you arrested?
It did for Dale Picardat. Now the city owes him $100,000. Miami New Times has the story.
A man was bending genders and the law when he showed up to a PNC bank in Sebastian, Florida this week dressed in women’s clothes complete with a handgun in his purse. While his lacy pink sweater and matching pink, fuzzy slippers suggested something casual, the man meant business and demanded cash from the teller. Miami New Times has the story.
Cops in Longwood, Florida, received a report this week that a young blond woman was sitting idly in a car parked outside of a Big Lots. The caller said she looked “stoned out of her face.” When police arrived, they found her clutching a crack pipe and had a 2-week-old boy strapped in a car seat in the back. Miami New Times has the story.
If Jimmy Buffett hasn’t already written a sappy acoustic ballad about the foibles of Thomas Knight, it’s probably only a matter of time. The 57-year-old Conch had such a strong hankering for another cold one, local police say, that he broke into the Key West Airport to steal a six pack from the terminal bar.
Which, come to think of it, raises a question or two about security at the Conch Republic’s international airport. Miami New Times has the story.
Apparently life really does imitate art. Just weeks before the release of Harmony Korine’s beach-babes-with-handguns movie Spring Breakers hits theaters, a woman in Daytona Beach for spring break had a two-hour armed standoff with police inside her hotel room.
The problems started on Wednesday when Heather Beaver, who is 21, started yelling at her boyfriend at a biker bar after she discovered he had been cheating. The two got in a fight at the bar, but Beaver ultimately went back to her room at the Sun and Surf motel alone. Miami New Times has the story.
Ernesto Velazquez did not want to sit outside last night. In fact, the 29-year-old who uses a wheelchair was so insulted when a waitress at Finnegan’s 2 tried to give him a table on Lincoln Road Mall that he pulled out a pistol and fired into the air.
Panicked managers called the cops, and Velazquez spent the night sitting in jail instead. Miami New Times has the story.
Sure, no one wants to visit one of Florida’s beaches to find it littered with trash, but lately we think tourists might be more wary of getting their face bitten off than encountering garbage.
So while we’re glad 20-year-old Keys resident Cassi Lyn Stanton was trying to keep her beach clean, we wish she would have found a better way to get her message across. Miami New Times has the story.
On March 1, students who tried to log on to the Internet using the free Wi-Fi network on Florida State University’s Panama City campus found themselves automatically redirected to an infamous Internet shock site called Meatspin.com. In case you’re unfamiliar, the site does not feature a 24-ounce porterhouse steak on a lazy Susan. Miami New Times has the story.
Miami police are searching for a butt bandit who made Calle Ocho a real pain in the ass this weekend.
Yes, America’s biggest Latin block party was disturbed Sunday after a brawl broke out and a man ended up taking a bullet in the butt cheek. Miami New Times has the story.