Browsing: Bad Clergy


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We’re sure about this: Jesus does not want you to beat your wife or chop off people’s hands

​Pastor Curtis Watts is man of God by the loosest definition. He’s a founder of the Shining Light Baptist Church in Clay County, Alabama. If you believe the missus, he’s also a wife beater — and an ax-wielding madman.

Our story begins a week ago, when Mrs. Watts called 911 to say the Good Reverend had assaulted her. When cops arrived he was waiting in the kitchen with a rifle. Apparently he’d missed Jesus’ many teachings on peace, so police had to taser his ass multiple times to help him understand this valuable piece of scripture.

The missus subsequently took out a protection order. When police tried to serve it, Watts swung at them with an ax. Sergeant Jason Freeman was trying to taser him when Watts took a swing, chopping off Freeman’s hand. That’s when other deputies opened fire, sending Watts to meet his maker — if St. Peter lets him in, which isn’t attracting heavy betting in Vegas at this point. Surgeons were able to reattach the sergeant’s hand, but we still don’t know how damaged it is.


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Rev. Danny Barnes with wife Dena

​A 14-month-old girl in Wheaton, Minnesota is dead. And it’s all because a pastor gave someone a washer and dryer.

Only a month ago, Darryl Kennedy was the best man at Claude Hankins’ wedding. But the two recently had a falling out. Rev. Danny Barnes, who ministers to people with addiction problems in this small town near the North Dakota border, had given a washer and dryer to Hankins. For some reason that upset Kennedy’s friend, David Collins. So Collins confronted Hankins, but ended up getting the worst of it with an eye swollen shut.

Two days later, he charged into Thy Kingdom Come Church with a baseball bat. Hankins grabbed a chair in defense. But Collins had been drinking and
swung wildly, connecting with the head of Hankins’ daughter Aundrea. She would die from the blow a few hours later…


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Rev. Jason Smoker’s Jesus is armed and pissed

​When Christians are confronted by perplexing situations, they ask
themselves, “What would Jesus do?” But we’re pretty sure His Holiness never
responded by saying, “Hey pal, why don’t you dump some garbage on the
retarded kid? That’ll teach him.”

This seems to be the lesson taken from our friends at Red Rocks
Baptist Church in Morrison, Colorado. Police say that in August of last
year, an unnamed mentally handicapped juvenile was volunteering at the
church. He was supposed to clean a church van. But assistant pastor Jason Smoker
thought the kid sucked in the art of van cleaning.

So Smoker, apparently a huge fan of Punitive Jesus, forced the kid to
lie down in the parking lot blindfolded, while Smoker poured trash on
him as punishment. Because that’s exactly what Punitive Jesus would have done.

The incident was reported to chief pastor Les Heinze, who seems to be a
follower of Don’t Rat Out Your Guys Jesus. It wasn’t till police
received a tip in June that they began investigating. The Good Pastor
Smoker has now been charged with neglect of an at-risk person. He
will also someday face trial before St. Peter, where he’ll be forced to
spend eternity with Gilbert Gottfried as a roommate.

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Saul Kassin, one of the rabbis nabbed in New York

​While this case isn’t as weird as the recent case involving money laundering rabbis in New York and New Jersey, there does seem to be a small problem with corruption in the rabbinical ranks.

Last week, police in Cleveland took down a massive mortgage fraud ring that involved 41 people, 453 homes and $44 million in fraudulent loans. It may well be the largest mortgage fraud case in U.S. history. But while this tends to be a common crime in Cleveland — the city long led the league in mortgage schemes before they became fashionable on the coasts — it was the way alleged ringleader Uri Gofman secreted away his money that raises attention.

Prosecutors contend Gofman’s scam took in a sweet $31 million in profits. And that money was apparently deposited in European banks by a Ukrainian rabbi, who would fly in and out of Cleveland on the same day carrying large piles of loot. In related news, it is not believed that the rabbi is currently upholding any vow of poverty.


November, 2007 news story about David Ajemian, via YouTube and WCVB Television.
Wow, it’s just crazy priest Friday ’round these parts. Our newest frater rabidus is actually not so new at all — it’s former Father David Ajemian, the priest who came to infamy by stalking late-night talker Conan O’Brien.
The first tidbit about Ajemian — it looks as though he has a yen for stalking celebrities no other psycho would think to stalk. According to the Boston Globe, one Lindsay Crouse, ex-wife of playwright David Mamet, has accused Ajemian of sending her “very disturbing” letters. Ajemian allegedly sent one missive to a theater where Ms. Crouse was performing in a play, and the other letter through the mail.
Secondly, there’s this, a statement from the Archdiocese of Boston, issued on September 11:

[…] the Archdiocese of Boston was informed that Fr. David Ajemian, against the wishes of his bishop, Cardinal Seán P. O’Malley, and medical professionals, checked himself out of a medical facility located outside Massachusetts where he has been staying for the past several months. Our understanding is that he plans initially to return to Massachusetts to the care of his family.
As a priest of the Archdiocese of Boston, Fr. David Ajemian made a promise of obedience to his bishop when he was ordained in 2001. In the context of these vows and with his medical care a priority, Fr. Ajemian was instructed to remain at an out of state residential treatment facility indefinitely to receive the care he requires. By his own actions, he has violated this mandate from his bishop. Therefore, he is Absent Without Permission. He is not authorized to function as a priest.
We pray for Fr. Ajemian, for his family and for all those who are concerned about his health and well-being. We also pray for those who have been impacted by Fr. Ajemian’s actions.

So he’s got that going for him.
I did this post about Ajemian for Radar Magazine’s “Fresh Intelligence” blog back in November, 2007. I wanted to check it out again partly just to remind myself of why it may be a really bad idea for Mr. Ajemian (ain’t no Father no mo’, according to that Archdiocese announcement) to be free of daily, proactive medical supervision. The dude is just WHACKED.
He posted on several message boards as Padre009, and was, as you might imagine, something of a troll. It looks as thought NBC removed his messages some time ago, but I can quote the one I found when I wrote the piece for Radar.
Ajemian referred to O’Brien as “Corncob” in his posts and seemed to take umbrage at someone else referring to “complete lunatics” posting on the Late Night message board. He wrote, in part: “”I’m just a two-bit HACK and I don’t even know it!!! My stories and nuttiness are PATHETIC— why?? Well of course because they DON’T MEAN ANYTHING!!! Compared to THE WRITERS who are—- GOLDEN—- AND—- BEAUTIFUL—- AND—- BELOVED … Yes the WRITERS—THE WRITERS— UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING!!!!”
Oy. Here’s hoping someone figures out a way to slip some anti-psychotic medication into this guy’s communion wine.
[E! Online and the Boston Globe.]

laydenpope.jpgAccording to authorities in Illinois, Father Christopher Layden, age 33, didn’t just dispense forgiveness and hear confession — he may have been dealing coke along with the eucharist and blood of Christ.
As a result of an investigation into Layden’s time at the Newman Center at the University of Illinois, the priest has been transfigured from clerical authority into accused drug dealer and user. On Thursday this week, Father Layden pled innocent to two counts of delivery of less than 1 gram of coke within a thousand feet of a church and another count of possession with intent to deliver. According to the News-Gazette, Layden’s alleged possession and use of drugs in or around church property makes the allegations all the more serious.
Here’s what supposedly happened — an informant gave police a “detailed taped statement” regarding “a priest at the Newman Center Catholic Church” dealing coke out of offices there. The informant said the priest was Christopher Layden. The informant also told of snorting lines with Layden off the surface of a framed photo of Layden standing with a bishop.
The police informant also told of going to Chicago with the priest to buy cocaine. But the real kicker may have been those times the cops monitored the informant buying coke from Father Layden.
So the priest who claimed he would take casual walks with no less than Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger — now Pope Benedict XVI — during his 5 years studying in Rome was given a $50,000 bond. He met the bond and was released.
In a 2003 editorial in the Madison Catholic Herald, Fr. Layden was quoted in reference to the sexual abuse scandals that have dogged the Catholic Church in the last decade. He spoke of “asking the Holy Spirit to guide us in what we can do to assist our brother priests.” To that end, Layden helped write a novena for priests to affirm the working clergy who felt so under siege by that scandal.
Looks like he could use his own special novena, now.
[News-Gazette.com]

laydenpope.jpgAccording to authorities in Illinois, Father Christopher Layden, age 33, didn’t just dispense forgiveness and hear confession — he may have been dealing coke along with the eucharist and blood of Christ.
As a result of an investigation into Layden’s time at the Newman Center at the University of Illinois, the priest has been transfigured from clerical authority into accused drug dealer and user. On Thursday this week, Father Layden pled innocent to two counts of delivery of less than 1 gram of coke within a thousand feet of a church and another count of possession with intent to deliver. According to the News-Gazette, Layden’s alleged possession and use of drugs in or around church property makes the allegations all the more serious.
Here’s what supposedly happened — an informant gave police a “detailed taped statement” regarding “a priest at the Newman Center Catholic Church” dealing coke out of offices there. The informant said the priest was Christopher Layden. The informant also told of snorting lines with Layden off the surface of a framed photo of Layden standing with a bishop.
The police informant also told of going to Chicago with the priest to buy cocaine. But the real kicker may have been those times the cops monitored the informant buying coke from Father Layden.
So the priest who claimed he would take casual walks with no less than Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger — now Pope Benedict XVI — during his 5 years studying in Rome was given a $50,000 bond. He met the bond and was released.
In a 2003 editorial in the Madison Catholic Herald, Fr. Layden was quoted in reference to the sexual abuse scandals that have dogged the Catholic Church in the last decade. He spoke of “asking the Holy Spirit to guide us in what we can do to assist our brother priests.” To that end, Layden helped write a novena for priests to affirm the working clergy who felt so under siege by that scandal.
Looks like he could use his own special novena, now.
[News-Gazette.com]

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