Browsing: Bizarre

palmettoexpresswayImage via Google Maps

The action in Carl Hiaasen’s Miami crime novel debut Tourist Season begins when a body is found floating down a river in a suitcase. That was very much fiction, but the idea of body parts being found stuffed into weird things in weird places remains very much a chilling reality in Miami.

Today, Miami Gardens police found two bags full of body parts that were hidden in the brush right off the embankment of the Palmetto Expressway. The discovery happened late in the morning. The location was near NW 12th Avenue.

A man known to the public as “Bear,” who killed an alligator who killed a moron last week, has been issued a  “warning citation” by the tough-as-feathers Texas Parks and Wildlife Department. “Investigators concluded that the unprecedented circumstances of the case, believed to be the first fatal alligator attack in Texas on record, warrant no further action.”

jon.barbour.squirrel.old.guyBreakfast reading from the Voice Media Empire: Barbour had been feuding with people in the area, who weren’t happy that he was leaving pounds of peanuts for the squirrels. He responded with a letter explaining how the animals’ spirit helped him commune with his dead parents. But when someone ripped down one of the missives, fists flew — and a gun fired, with ugly consequences. Westword has the story.

aqib.talib.wfaa.1Breakfast reading from the Voice Media Empire: Star cornerback Talib has gotten into plenty of scrapes that received law-enforcement attention over the years, so no one was surprised when Dallas police said he’d been wounded during gun play at a place specializing in “exotic dancing.” But he says he was in a park — but too drunk to remember much else. Westword has the story.

Very fake carrots, very real drugs. U.S. Customs and Border Protection

Very fake carrots, very real drugs.

If you try to sneak something past border security and get caught, then you’re not a particularly good smuggler. But some smuggling failures are way worse than others, like this half-hearted attempt on January 10 to hide more than a ton of marijuana inside thousands of fake carrots. It’s not unusual for people to try to smuggle drugs (or people) alongside produce, but it’s definitely different to totally circumvent the actual produce part and just create your own veggies, as these guys tried (and failed) to do at the border near Pharr, Texas.

Here are some other weak tries to illegally transport things in and out of Texas.

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