Browsing: Felonious Stupidity

coronaPhoto by Sarah-Rose / Flickr

Beer theft is a pretty great racket. You steal beer, and then you drink it. It’s simple, it works, and even if you go to jail, your fellow inmates will probably treat you like a hero.

Miami’s most feared cerveza crook saw his reign of terror end today, though. Because the Miami Police Department very clearly has its priorities in order, MPD announced this afternoon that it has arrested a “notorious beer bandit,” just in time to protect South Florida’s very vulnerable stashes of Labor Day booze from getting seized. Here’s to the labor movement!

sobemugsphotos via Miami-Dade Corrections; montage by David Cypkin/rakontur

Three weeks ago, Miami Beach police rolled out a new crime fighting initiative aimed at stemming a tide of robberies in South Beach, and they’ve had some recent success. Some of the arrests may be due to beefed up manpower and squads of detectives working longer hours (with overtime benefits, of course.)


darwin-castillo-mugshot-broward-sheriffBroward Sheriff's Office

Melissa Rodriguez was collecting seashells on the Hollywood, Florida beach hours after the last fireworks had dimmed on the Fourth of July when she realized her pants were missing. She had left her black jeans, wallet, and car keys on a lifeguard stand before walking to the water. When she turned around, she saw a man in a gray hoodie run off with them down Ocean Drive.

Rodriguez had become a victim of what appeared to be a string of Independence Day petty thefts on Hollywood Beach.

And, after accused robber Darwin Castillo was apprehended, police say he was wearing the very same black jeans he stole from her.

saidy-samayoa-murder-hit-run-accident-north-hillsChris Yarzab/Flickr

A 20-year-old woman was arrested on suspicion of murder after the SUV she was driving plowed into a minivan, causing the death of a man inside, police said today.

The suspect, identified as Saidy Samayoa, was fleeing a felony hit-and-run collision “at a high rate of speed” when the Toyota 4Runner she was driving struck the Toyota Sienna minivan, the Los Angeles Police Department said in a statement.

It all started at 11:30 a.m. yesterday when the first collision happened at Sepulveda Boulevard and Parthenia Street in North Hills, cops said.


After Angel Nolasco was arrested on charges of practicing dentistry without a license in 2011, you’d figure he’d take the hint and pack up his probes and retractors for good. Sure, the charges were eventually dropped, but that didn’t mean he was free to keep on pulling teeth.

Turns out not only did the 81-year-old Nolasco get back into the practice of back-alley dentistry, but he also brought his son into it. Both ended up arrested this week for running an illegal dentistry practice in the back of a Little Havana office. 

zelthewolfA Mesa man, who according to police went by the online alter ego “Zel the Wolf”on the digital art-sharing site, was arrested this week for alleged online sexual contact with two 12-year-old girls and for bestiality.

Mesa police say Aaron Thomas Usery, 21, engaged in virtual sexual relationships with two 12-year-olds in Overland Park, Kansas, exchanging nude photographs with the girls, and communicating with them “while using ‘Skype’ and ‘Google hangouts,'” according to a probable-cause statement on file with the Maricopa County Superior Court.

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