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Dr. Steven Pack

No. 5: Dr. Steven Pack: Though he’s a doctor, which means he has money, which means he should be capable of landing at least one gold digger, the Lehi, Utah physician still went perv. Police say he rigged a camera to film women undressing at an urgent care clinic.

No. 4: Gregory Williams:
Three girls were in for a surprise when they went to the locker room at Roger Bacon High in St. Bernard, Ohio to find the 52-year-old hiding in a shower stall. He’s been charged with voyeurism, trespassing, disorderly conduct and subscribing to way too many Barely Legal web sites.

No. 3: Ronald Kilwein: Lianne Racanelli looked out her bedroom window and noticed something unusual, even for Portland, Oregon. Ronald Kilwein, who lives nearby — with his mother, quite naturally — was peering in her window. Naked. While masturbating. Kilwein bolted over a fence and hid in his garage, where he was soon caught by police.

This is just how they roll in Round Rock, Texas law enforcement

​If this is Thursday, that means it must be time for another fabulous episode of This Week in Police Bungling! [Cue the French horns.] In fact, True Crime has such a full menu, we can’t tell you about the Minnesota Gang Strike Force that went rogue itself. Or the officer who stun gunned the daughter of a Cincinnati city councilman. Or the Baltimore cops who staged a fake raid — complete with helicopter — to help with a Maryland state delegate’s marriage proposal.

But we can tell you about saucy barmaids posing with rifles, as the fine deputies of Midland County, Texas come in at No. 5 in our countdown…

Timothy Kissida tried to trade his hit-and-run BMW in in the Cash for Clunkers program

Today we begin our inaugural voyage of the Monday Stupid Criminal Countdown, where we visit those whom self-respecting bad guys would never invite to dinner.

5. The Snoring Fugitive: When probation and parole officers came looking for Chad R. Kortin of King, Wisconsin, he managed to escape out the back door of a rural cabin. A fisherman saw him dive into the Wisconsin River and disappear. Alas, our hero wasn’t meant for a life on the lam. He was captured the next morning when a nearby resident heard a strange noise coming from his wood pile. Police found Kortin there snoring away.

4. Pot Smoking Police: Honolulu cops Shayne Souza and Kevin Fujioka were playing at a police softball tourney in Vegas when they decided to get intimate in their van with Ms. Marijuana. A cop approached to ask them to move their illegally parked vehicle. But the officers panicked and drove off, and were eventually caught after they abandoned the van and fled on foot. Both are expected to be fired…

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